It's a Hard Knock Life

As a kid, I LOVED the movie "Annie" and yes, I even saw it in the theater when it came out. I was about five or six and I remember tearing up at some parts-maybe it was the "I love you, Daddy Warbucks" or it was the part where Annie was given a brand new necklace from Daddy Warbucks or maybe it was the happy ending of an orphan that gave me some kind of hope for her. "Annie" was my first exposure to the term, orphan.

Later on in life, my "Poppa" (maternal grandfather) would tell us vibrant stories of his life and the ones that were most fascinating were about his time with his brother and sister in the orphanages in New York. These stories actually confirmed what the orphans in "Annie" faced each day but my grandfather, great aunt and uncle were ruled by a housekeeper/director that made Miss Hannigan look like Mary Poppins. The kids in the orphanage weren't allowed to speak at meals, my great uncle got locked in a closet if he wet the bed, the kids were spanked and often sent to bed without dinner, etc. The environment wasn't a safe and loving environment-obviously.

This week I was thinking about the fact that I'm going to be 34 this month and wow, I still don't have kids. I never thought I would be this old without a first child. My mom had her first (me) at 20 (three months shy of her 21st birthday)and by 34, she had eight kids. If it were my choice, I would start having kids in my early twenties as well. However, I know that God is in control of everything-even my biological clock.

So, this of course brings me to the topic of adoption as a single parent. Adoption has become more prevalent in recent years, not just among Christians but in the secular world as well. Additionally, there are more Christian singles opting to adopt.

I often wondered if adoption as a single person is most pleasing to the Lord. My first thoughts curdle at the idea because the Lord's model of a nuclear family contains a mother and a father. If I adopted, who would be my model father for my child? I really wouldn't want my dad to fulfill this role because I'd want him to be a grandfather to my son or daughter. I was reminded after taking care of nine kids this week that not only does it help when there are two people to support each other, the kids also have their individual needs met by each parent.

Another reason that I shy at adoption (as a single person) is that I wonder if I could provide the best, most stable household when I'm at work all day while they are in some kind of daycare. I'm exhausted when I'm finished with work but what about nurturing and raising a child after work? How could I do it? I've also considered my heart, maybe I'm too selfish to adopt because it would really eat into my own precious time.

Someone once told me that they thought that I (as a single person) shouldn't adopt and that I should consider my students as my own kids. Well, at this point, I call them my kids but not to the point where I can raise them in the way they should go. Adoption is a bit different because you're seeing them each day, disciplining, influencing and shaping their lives from when they wake up to when they go to bed.

Over the course of a few years, my thoughts on adoption as a single person have changed and as of this week, my stance on adoption has solidified. Before I explain my reasons, I need to explain what prompted the change of mind. As I stated earlier, I took care of nine kids this week. Four of those nine kids have been adopted from all over the world. My sister adopted a little boy last year as well. All four of the kids that I took care of came from poor countries where hot water was a luxury and my nephew has medical needs that are better met in the U.S. The Lord calls us to care for the orphans and widows and obviously by doing this, we can take care of their physical needs. However, the thought was more clear to me this week that these children are in desperate need of a Savior-just like me. I love this quote from John Newton to William Jay, "My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: That I am a great sinner, and that Jesus Christ is a great Savior."

I know that ideally it is beneficial to have a complete family with both parents but is it more valuable than leading a little one to Christ even if you're a single parent of an adopted child? To me, it is not. I can only justify my reasoning because I would like to be able to spread the Gospel any way that I can and win others for Christ.

Right now, I'm not rushing into adopting as a single parent, but I also want to be open to this option if the Lord should desire it for me. I take comfort in the fact that God is sovereign and no one will thwart His plan for any of His children-orphans or not. If I felt called to adopt at this point in my life, I know that the Lord would take care of that child's needs and of course, He would be their Abba Father.

So,for the time being, I'll stick to taking care of widows.


For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”-Romans 8:15