You're Not Worth Beans

It's amazing how moving can suck the life and time out of you. First, you spend your free time packing, then you move the stuff and then you spend the rest of your life unpacking. Okay, okay, total hyperbole, but that would be an explanation as to why I haven't posted of late.

For whatever reason, this month I've been sensitive to the pride in my heart. It probably started when I read Stuart Scott's "From Pride to Humility" and I was made aware of the different ways pride disguises itself as a noble cause.

Many years ago, I read the short picture book, "The Tale of Three Trees" and was moved to tears because of its message about the humility of Christ. The story starts off with three trees that talk about their grandiose plans for the future: one wants to become a beautiful box and hold precious treasure, the next tree wants to sail on water and carry powerful kings and the last one wants to stand tall so that when people see him, they'll think of God. To the three trees' chagrin, they are used for different purposes than what they had dreamed of doing. However, the first tree realizes that when he is made into a manger, he will hold the most precious treasure in the world. The second tree is humbled as he carries the man who just silenced the storm on the Sea of Galilee and realizes that He is the King of Kings. The third tree is sorely disappointed when he gets chopped down because he can't stand tall anymore. After being made into a cross, he realizes that when people see him, they will think of God.

Many years ago, I was at a party for some singles from church. I met an attorney and carried a conversation with him for a long time. I asked him where he was serving in the church and he told me that he wasn't at the time. I encouraged him to serve his fellow believers in his local church. He talked about not being able to find a place where he felt his gifts would be best used and I reminded him that if there is a need and we are able to fulfill it, then we should do it. I wasn't stating, "Hey, if your church needs a pastor and you can do it, then fulfill it" rather, if there is a physical need in the church, go and by all means, fulfill it, including cleaning the toilets at church. I was stunned with the words that next came out of his mouth: I would never clean toilets, I wasn't meant to clean toilets. I didn't go to law school to clean toilets.

I sat there shocked and our conversation turned into a "We'll just agree to disagree" resolution.

Didn't Jesus (oh yes, He was the King of the Universe) wash the feet of his disciples? Didn't the King of ALL Kings (oh yes, the long-awaited Messiah) humble himself by leaving His father's side to become a baby so that He could save the scum of the world? Didn't the Wonderful Counselor (oh yes the Creator of this world) talk with the despised Samaritan woman at the well? With this being said, how could we NOT serve Him in ANY way that He wants for us?

As a single person, I am humbled because I know that what I have to offer to the most precious Treasure, is not worth a single cent. But, as a single person I know that God has called me to offer whatever I am able to do. Professionally, I am a high school teacher. I went to school, took many tests and I paid thousands of dollars to get to where I am today. However, these things didn't come about without the Lord- my talents and my strengths are from Him. While we are called to use our gifts, God also calls us to meet the needs of our fellow brothers and sisters.

I think it's pretty universal to say that we are at our ugliest when we are with our family rather than with friends. We are also more apt to show love and acts of kindness to our friends rather than family because we know that there are some in our family that don't "deserve" our acts of service. Isn't this the way we are in the church sometimes? We pick and choose who "deserves" and is worthy of our service when Christ didn't show favoritism to those around Him. Sometimes we'll even go to great lengths to say, "I wasn't meant to clean toilets, I was meant to serve God in greater ways because I can offer so much more with what He has given me-I wouldn't want to waste my gifts".

Pride disguises itself in the most noble of ways. Humility is when we have an open heart to love and serve wherever and whenever God wants us in ANY capacity. Jesus was our example and He kind of had an idea of who He was and the talents He possessed, but that didn't stop Him from doing the lowliest of tasks. We aren't God's gift to mankind-He is and yet, He was the humblest of the humble.

If you're a single Christian, let me encourage you by saying this: we are called to more acts of service because we have more time to devote to Him rather than our spouse. If you're a Christian and you aren't serving your local church, pray about ways in which you can meet the needs of others at your local church. Feeding the hungry at your local food pantry is great, but what about your brothers and sisters in Christ? When was the last time you fed them with your love?

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,^b being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross-Philippians 2:3-8

O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me-Psalm 131:1

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight-Romans 12:16

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned-Romans 12:3

For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?-I Corinthians 4:7

John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven-John 3:27

Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days-Ephesians 11:1

And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward-Matthew 10:42

The Pride of Little Jack Horner

Recently, a friend's car was stolen and it brought back memories of the numerous times my car has been broken into by thieves. I remember the feeling of being violated and wondering if the thief had any kind of remorse for his actions. I wondered what they felt when they stole that prized possession of mine-was it excitement, like winning the lottery or going on a shopping spree?

Obviously, I can only imagine the emotions of a thief since breaking into cars is not my choice of career. However, I know if I've found $10-20 on the ground, I feel terrible for the person who lost it while at the same time, I'm thrilled to find some unearned cash. For me, finding something of value doesn't bring the same sense of freedom as it does for a thief because I know it's not rightfully mine.

This week, I read the short book, "From Pride to Humility" by Stuart Scott. Scott's book demonstrates how pride can infiltrate our lives in recognizable and unrecognizable forms. Similar to a thief, we as humans and Christians, steal what is not rightfully ours, but God's. We freely take credit for achievements without fully realizing that it is God who has given us the gifts, the body, the mind and the impetus to carry out a feat.

While I don't think pride is a daily struggle for me, it still exists in my heart. My pride comes in the unrecognizable form, the one that is probably most dangerous to my spiritual growth. When (there is no conditional "if" used here)I sin, whether it is blatantly or carelessly, I have trouble with asking God for forgiveness immediately. My heart is so grieved that going to God one more time must demonstrate to Him that I don't want to please Him. Going to God one more time means that I don't deserve His grace and forgiveness. It's not that I'm too prideful to ask Him for forgiveness or is it?

Many years ago, I read Francine Rivers' book, "The Sin Eater" and though it was fictional, my heart grieved for the sin eater and the people who used him. He was chosen by lot to "eat" the sins of the people in the community so that the offender could have a clean slate. Didn't the people understand that Jesus already paid for our sins at the cross? "BEEP" "BEEP" "BEEP" "BEEP", yes that's the alarm going off in my head alerting me to the fact that I too, treat my sins as if I need a sin eater.

A couple of months ago, the speaker at a counseling training was speaking on asking God for forgiveness right away despite the sorrow and guilt we experience when we offend Him. And then, a sermon recently given at church spoke to my heart: God still wants us to come to Him even if our hearts aren't right with Him. I don't want to treat my sin as if we have a "Get out Jail Free" card because I want to regard sin with the gravity of what it really is. On the other hand, I inadvertently negate the work of the cross because I have given sin more power than the blood of Christ.

My pride rears its ugly head when I try to take on the guilt and suffering for my sin instead of praising God for His redemptive power. My pride rears its ugly head when I say, "I can't forgive myself"-once again, the work of the cross just became as prodigal as the wayward son in the parable of the "Prodigal Son".

Thud! That's the sound of my hand as it hit my forehead as if to say, "You idiot!" As a Christian, I should be living like a Christian-I'm forgiven, I'm redeemed and sin no longer has a hold on me! No longer must my sin cripple me from experiencing true joy. No longer should I be hampered by its shame.

I am reminded of the last line in the nursery rhyme of Little Jack Horner- "He put in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said, "What a good boy am I". When I delve into my sins, I tend to rely on my own pride to assuage the guilt, and I think I'm carrying out a noble deed. Because I've poked, analyzed, prodded and selfishly pulled apart that Christmas pie, I can't enjoy the sweet forgiveness of God. And boy, I am not good.

A student recently asked about the purpose of taking a history class and I told her that one good reason is that we can learn from our mistakes. In the same way, I can treat sin as a life lesson and I can also be an encouragement to those who may be boxing their ears for their own sin. My pride doesn't need to get in the way because I "just can't forgive myself" or I am ashamed. Christ already paid it ALL!

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law-I Corinthians 15:56

The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, “Who will bring me down to the ground?”-Obadiah 1:3

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.-Proverbs 11:3

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy-Proverbs 28:13

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness-I John 1:9

One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor-Proverbs 29:23

It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud-Proverbs 16:19

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal-II Corinthians 4:16-18