Saturday, June 11, 2011

Can We Have An Unlike Button, Please?

I like when people appreciate me. I mean, who doesn't like to be appreciated? I don't need a huge, public acknowledgement, but just a pat on the back, a word telling me or even a small gesture just to show that you care makes me feel appreciated.

Two weeks ago, I felt like the most-hated teacher because I had the nerve to make my students do work when the end of the school year was so close. Needless to say, I wasn't appreciated as a teacher-call me quirky, but I try to maintain a good work ethic until the very end. However, on the last day of school this week, I walked to my car in the school parking lot to find that my fourth and fifth period students created a huge sign that said I was amazing, their favorite teacher and they thanked me for a good year. I was so flattered and was really thankful that the Lord prompted them to do this for me.

Ironically, 30 minutes earlier, I did not have the same grateful attitude. Like a chameleon that changes colors based on its environment, my joy was dictated by my circumstances. Before I got to my car to find the beautiful sign, I attended our annual staff luncheon. Several teachers were acknowledged for their impact this school year. There was one group of teachers that was told to stand up because they had been given a "senior" cord by the 2011 graduating class to wear during graduation. These teachers were nominated by the students and it wasn't without a slight twinge of envy as I looked at some of the "popular" teachers who received this high honor.

What happened next is something I'm terribly ashamed of but I know if we were all honest with ourselves, we've all done it. My sinful heart produced an evil thought that came like the force of a train-there was no stopping it: Well, of course she would be chosen, she thrives on being popular. I mean, she goes out of her way to win over her students' hearts...Uh, yes that was my heart-disgusting, isn't it? My heart is so wicked and schizophrenic-I just know the PCL-R* would diagnose me as a psychopath**-there's no question about it!

Fortunately, my "psychopathic" heart has been regenerated, I've been washed by the blood of Jesus and my guilt is absolved. When I have these abominable thoughts, God is gracious enough to convict me of my secret cattiness without making it known to all. I am so thankful that He continually shows His compassion and faithfulness in working on His unfinished work (me) when I so deserve a whack on the head.

There's a praise song by Tommy Walker called "Only A God Like You" and I found myself singing the first line this week: For the praises of man, I will never ever stand...The line implies that we are devoted to the things/thoughts of the Lord and we shouldn't be concerned with man's thoughts towards us. I started to think, "Do I really live my life in this way?" I reflected on how often I check my Facebook status to look for a comment or an engaged "like" button or even this blog and it makes me wonder if my motivation is for the praises of man. I'm not going to lie, it feels great when someone thinks you're funny, or they approve of your status, comment or they just like you. However, it shouldn't be my modus operandi.

I am reminded of this passage "for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God."(John 12:43) My actions are sometimes the same as the Pharisees and I must guard my heart from this idol. The praises of man should not be my main objective. I must remember that all I do is for God's glory. And while it's nice to be appreciated by others, my goal is to please the Lord, not man.

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe-Proverbs 29:25

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty-Psalm 91:1

I will bless the LORD at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt his name together!-Psalm 34:1-3

Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!-Psalm 34:9


*PCL-R is an assessment used to determine if one is a psychopath
**I don't believe in psychopaths. Sinners, yes. Crazy, mentally deranged as a medical condition, yes. As long as the PCL-R is continually used to assess criminals, there is no hope for a regenerated heart.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You did a great job unearthing the nastiness that lies deep within our hearts... all of us... thanks for being so honest and encouraging Marian!

Mark Wenslawski said...

Oh Marian!

Lifechanging said...

I was trying to figure out who Marian was??? Ok, got it now.

Great post, very real. What we talked about this morning on the phone!