Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fine...

This is the first summer that I've actually looked forward to. Normally the end of the school year brings mixed feelings of sadness and happiness. Sadness, because I will miss my students and happiness because I will miss my students. This school year was different because even though I will miss seeing some of my students, I was really excited for the break since I had worked without a prep two thirds of the year. Additionally, there’s usually a bit of worry in the back of my mind because (with the exception of one year in my nine years of teaching) the prospect of having a job is always hanging in the air.

The subject I teach is kind of specialized and there aren’t many of us that teach it. In fact, I know who most of the teachers are in the Bay Area because I’ve met them or I have a mutual friend. Because the subject is fairly new in the high school setting, not all teachers are credentialed in the subject yet. Teaching this subject can be an advantage in a languishing economy because a principal wants the most experienced teacher to work for him in that one available position as opposed to hiring the newly credentialed teacher.

For those who don’t know the saga (Other than family and a couple of close friends, I have no idea who reads this blog), I’ve had credential issues with a mixture of budget cuts that keep me from holding on to my job. Every year it’s either a pink slip or it’s a “Sorry, due to your lack of credential in this area, you can’t come back because you’re not qualified to teach it.” When handling these things with HR at the district level, it’s hard not to be irreverent about it. If it was “Groundhog Day”*, it would be great to turn those thoughts into spoken words and say, “Come on, I just taught it this year for you and now I’m not qualified to teach it, are you serious? Common sense, people, do you have any?” However, it’s never “Groundhog Day” and I go home each summer conjuring ways to keep my job.

The summer of 2010 wasn’t any different except that it was one week before school was to start and I still didn’t have a job. I’d never cut it this close-I thought twelve days before school was kind of last minute to be hired, but what do I know? As some teachers dreaded spending that last week of summer on getting ready for school, I longed to prepare for the upcoming school year-at least I’d have a job. However, after meeting with my principal and HR, I had been told, “Sorry, there is no way you can teach unless you have a credential in this area” and this was six days before school started. My only option to teach was through the Regional Occupation Program (ROP) part time. Devastated and feeling hopeless, I was advised to apply for unemployment.

I remember sobbing and feeling like a failure because I couldn’t take care of myself-I now was going to depend on the U.S. government to supplement my income as I looked for a job. The prospect was frightening: How long would it take to get a full time job? How would I support myself? Would I be a good steward with my time? Would I budget appropriately? Would I be diligent in how I made my decisions? Would the Lord take care of me?

The emotions and thoughts just kept pouring in-like "Alice in Wonderland", I drowned in my own tears. I kept beseeching the Lord and fought discouragement and it wasn’t until I decided that I would make an attempt to trust my future in His hands. I know that sounds like a cliché but it isn’t when you have to do it. I mean, I really had to trust in the Lord for everything at this point. I had no other income. I didn’t have a savings account. I didn’t/don’t have a wealthy family. I don’t have a husband.

Up to this time, I had to trust the Lord every summer to provide a job for me which was becoming easier each year. However, there was one slight variable in the summer of 2010-I had exhausted almost all options in saving my job. I had to trust the Lord enough to go wherever He’d take me-even if it meant a career change. I started to accept the Lord’s sovereign hand in all of this and I was willing to do His will without digging my heels in.

So, five days before school started, I started looking forward to the part-time job and the opportunities that would arise from it. The peace I felt was incredible because the burden was on the Lord. If only I had relinquished all of my fears, stresses and burdens on my Heavenly Father earlier, I could’ve enjoyed my summer. Those sleepless nights could’ve been what my cats enjoy on an hourly basis all day. Those days of reading the Word could’ve been less myopic and more of a focus on Him. Those times of worry could’ve been times of encouragement to someone else. Obviously, I can’t go back and change what I did or didn’t do last summer and it doesn’t do the heart any good to dwell on the “would-have, could-have, should-haves”.

And the story doesn’t end. This just shows you that I am not God and that I should never, ever put Him in my own little box-more like a shoebox in my head. Two days later, (three days before school was to start) the district wanted to hire me because all of their interviewees for the job had committed to other school districts. I was the only eligible (and available) person for the position. The district was able to work reconcile all of my credential issues with the State of California and not only was I working 50% for ROP, I was working 75% for the district! My cup runneth over because of my abundant Provider.

This summer I plan on doing it right. I am going to be more carefree-I am going to enjoy the time off that the Lord has provided. I will make the most of my time but I will also rest when I need to. This time is a total gift from the Lord and I will try my best to be the best steward of what He has given me.

Yes , the variables have changed once again and I currently have not been re-hired. While I don’t want to be arrogant, I also want to be confident in the Lord too. He is a God of structure, order and consistency-He will take care of me and will provide all that I need even if it’s not in my timing or in my way. The Lord has taken care of much of my credential issues and the plan is for me to have a job for the school year 2011-2012. For now, while I do my part, I’m just waiting on Him.

For those of you who don’t have jobs, there are many us praying for you. Though this economy is wilting, God is not. He is a God of abundance and will provide all of your needs. This time may seem as if you’re in a desert but seek Him first and He will direct your paths.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus-Philippians 3:13-14

Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
If any of you lacks wisdom,let him ask God,who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him-James 1:2-5

The trees of the LORD are watered abundantly, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.In them the birds build their nests; the stork has her home in the fir trees.The high mountains are for the wild goats; the rocks are a refuge for the rock badgers. Psalm 104:16-18

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD-Isaiah 55:8

You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told-Psalm 40:5

* "Groundhog Day" is a movie about a weatherman who finds himself repeating the same day over and over again. As he repeats each day, he lives whatever way he wants and without any consequences for his actions.