Wrinkles and Lines and Headaches-Oh My!

Do you ever look into the mirror and say, "Wow, I'm old"? Maybe this is happening more often as I see the wrinkles and lines that have taken up residence on my face. It makes me wonder what wrinkles are biological and which ones are from stress and anxiety.

I wouldn't file myself into the "Worry-er" genre but I definitely couldn't be in the "Trust in God Completely" genre either. I'm somewhere in between called, "Tension Headaches Due to Not Resting in God's Sovereignty".

My family and close friends know that headaches are kind of a way of life for me. I get headaches when I'm tired, if I'm congested, if my hormones are fluctuating, if I'm hungry, if I'm sore, if I'm hot and if I'm stressed. It's been this way since I was a kid and I don't know any different except that I'm not a huge fan of them. For some women, crying is the way their body handles changes or if they're stressed. I guess it's not unusual to have some kind of physical reaction to what life has in store for us. But is it necessary, can we avoid the physical reactions?

I think I would have less headaches if I trusted God completely. I know the truth about God, God is sovereign in everything and nothing happens without His hand being in it, so, why should I worry? The song "Why should I worry? Why should I care?" from the Disney movie, "Oliver and Company" automatically plays in my head-what else would you expect from a soundtrack junkie? Even though I wouldn't identify myself as a control freak, my behavior sometimes dictates that I need to have my hand-no, my little pinky involved in every aspect of my life. My behavior shows that I struggle with relinquishing control and relying on whatever God has ordained the outcome to be.

As I reflect on the last couple of weeks, I can see so many instances where trusting the Lord didn't come naturally and instead, worry was the comfort for me. I even noticed this week that I had gotten bogged down in the turmoil of this world. Being a Christian in this world is hard. We have a leader in our country who cares more about his ego being stroked rather than what is right and moral for the country. We have agenda after agenda being thrown in our face and not only that, we're told that tolerance is no longer the buzz word, it's affirmation- embrace the sin that reigns in this world. If I don't agree with you, I am hateful and judgmental. But, if you don't agree with me, that's your prerogative. It can be pretty discouraging.

I can have two responses when it comes to trusting the Lord with these things: 1) Truly trust Him, or, 2) Live in a bubble. Shielding myself from the things of this world is not only unrealistic, it's not pleasing to God because I am not reaching to those in need of a Savior. When I choose to live in this way, I am selfishly basking in comfort and not stretching myself to know the authenticity of trusting the Lord. So, I must choose door number one-trust Him, trust Him completely. This world is only temporary and while it sometimes feels that God is not doing his fair share (another buzz word) to protect us, I must dwell on the fact that He is ALWAYS at work. I must trust and dwell on the fact that God's plan is going just as He said it would.

Another area of concern was my finances and if I was graded on trusting the Lord, I would earn a D+, definitely not passing in my book. Last week, I was having a casual conversation with the pastor at my church and we were talking about the recession and the housing market. I told him that my home was sold to me for $265,000. and it is now worth $69,000. If I dwell on this, I have no equity in my home and I'm paying quadruple its value plus interest. Is this bothersome? YES. At this point though, I can't dwell on our economic recession and who knows if it will get better? (God knows) But this I know, I have been called to be wise with my finances, make good on my promise and finally, my home is really NOT my home-it's temporary and in the end, who cares? When I die, I'm going before the Lord without my possessions.

Recently, I was talking to a Christian student and she was telling me that she is analytical about everything and I thought, who isn't? How can you not be analytical in a world where information is absorbed by osmosis? And drumroll please, the next buzz word is, Over-analyze- (I have fond memories of watching Groucho Marx's Word of the Day on "You Bet Your Life" as a kid). In counseling or in talking to people or students, they'll say, "I tend to over-analyze things..." In fact, when my student said that she is analytical and thinks about everything, I asked her if what she was doing was pleasing to the Lord. For me, over-analyze is a euphemism for worry. This week in particular, there were a couple of incidents at school where I "over-analyzed" my response to the situations and instead of trusting the Lord that I responded in the right way, I worried. My over-analyzing caused great angst and my imagination blinded my ability to see truth. Oh how I could have had the peace that transcends all understanding and instead, I got a bad headache.

In all three examples where I should've rested in the Rock, I dabbled in worry. I chose to not dwell on the truths that I've learned, read, know and memorize. The truths where God is my hope, He is for me, who can be against me?, His courts are better for one day than a thousand elsewhere, He can turn the heart of the king like channels of water, He is the light of my salvation, He is my fortress, He is my refuge-how can anyone worry when these truths are ingrained in us? Argghh, I do the very things I do not want to do!

But God.

His mercies are new every morning. (Great is His faithfulness)

We do not lose heart because, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day!

And so, today is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it. Whatever troubles may arise, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.-1 Corinthians 15:58

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.

Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. - II Corinthians 4:7-18

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.-Psalm 62:1-2

For a day in your courts is better

than a thousand elsewhere.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of wickedness.-Psalm 84:10