The Pride of Little Jack Horner

Recently, a friend's car was stolen and it brought back memories of the numerous times my car has been broken into by thieves. I remember the feeling of being violated and wondering if the thief had any kind of remorse for his actions. I wondered what they felt when they stole that prized possession of mine-was it excitement, like winning the lottery or going on a shopping spree?

Obviously, I can only imagine the emotions of a thief since breaking into cars is not my choice of career. However, I know if I've found $10-20 on the ground, I feel terrible for the person who lost it while at the same time, I'm thrilled to find some unearned cash. For me, finding something of value doesn't bring the same sense of freedom as it does for a thief because I know it's not rightfully mine.

This week, I read the short book, "From Pride to Humility" by Stuart Scott. Scott's book demonstrates how pride can infiltrate our lives in recognizable and unrecognizable forms. Similar to a thief, we as humans and Christians, steal what is not rightfully ours, but God's. We freely take credit for achievements without fully realizing that it is God who has given us the gifts, the body, the mind and the impetus to carry out a feat.

While I don't think pride is a daily struggle for me, it still exists in my heart. My pride comes in the unrecognizable form, the one that is probably most dangerous to my spiritual growth. When (there is no conditional "if" used here)I sin, whether it is blatantly or carelessly, I have trouble with asking God for forgiveness immediately. My heart is so grieved that going to God one more time must demonstrate to Him that I don't want to please Him. Going to God one more time means that I don't deserve His grace and forgiveness. It's not that I'm too prideful to ask Him for forgiveness or is it?

Many years ago, I read Francine Rivers' book, "The Sin Eater" and though it was fictional, my heart grieved for the sin eater and the people who used him. He was chosen by lot to "eat" the sins of the people in the community so that the offender could have a clean slate. Didn't the people understand that Jesus already paid for our sins at the cross? "BEEP" "BEEP" "BEEP" "BEEP", yes that's the alarm going off in my head alerting me to the fact that I too, treat my sins as if I need a sin eater.

A couple of months ago, the speaker at a counseling training was speaking on asking God for forgiveness right away despite the sorrow and guilt we experience when we offend Him. And then, a sermon recently given at church spoke to my heart: God still wants us to come to Him even if our hearts aren't right with Him. I don't want to treat my sin as if we have a "Get out Jail Free" card because I want to regard sin with the gravity of what it really is. On the other hand, I inadvertently negate the work of the cross because I have given sin more power than the blood of Christ.

My pride rears its ugly head when I try to take on the guilt and suffering for my sin instead of praising God for His redemptive power. My pride rears its ugly head when I say, "I can't forgive myself"-once again, the work of the cross just became as prodigal as the wayward son in the parable of the "Prodigal Son".

Thud! That's the sound of my hand as it hit my forehead as if to say, "You idiot!" As a Christian, I should be living like a Christian-I'm forgiven, I'm redeemed and sin no longer has a hold on me! No longer must my sin cripple me from experiencing true joy. No longer should I be hampered by its shame.

I am reminded of the last line in the nursery rhyme of Little Jack Horner- "He put in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said, "What a good boy am I". When I delve into my sins, I tend to rely on my own pride to assuage the guilt, and I think I'm carrying out a noble deed. Because I've poked, analyzed, prodded and selfishly pulled apart that Christmas pie, I can't enjoy the sweet forgiveness of God. And boy, I am not good.

A student recently asked about the purpose of taking a history class and I told her that one good reason is that we can learn from our mistakes. In the same way, I can treat sin as a life lesson and I can also be an encouragement to those who may be boxing their ears for their own sin. My pride doesn't need to get in the way because I "just can't forgive myself" or I am ashamed. Christ already paid it ALL!

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law-I Corinthians 15:56

The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, “Who will bring me down to the ground?”-Obadiah 1:3

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.-Proverbs 11:3

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy-Proverbs 28:13

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness-I John 1:9

One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor-Proverbs 29:23

It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud-Proverbs 16:19

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal-II Corinthians 4:16-18