A Balancing Act

Last week, I got my hair highlighted by a friend. I've known her for a long time because my uncle married her sister. Also, she and I went to beauty school together and I went to her wedding. After she did my hair last week, I wrote her a check and I thought I had tipped her fairly well. A couple of days later, she texted me: I just looked at the check you gave me. Did you know that I got married 13 years ago?
I wrote her back: Happy anniversary!
Her response: You filled out the check with my maiden name.
It was funny because I thought she was appreciative of the tip I gave her and I still hadn't understood what she was talking about until her last text! This shows you how tired I've been.

This week I went to the annual NANC conference. It's not short for my friend "Nancy", it stands for National Association of Nouthetic Counseling. Nouthetic comes from the Greek word, to admonish or warn. In other words, NANC is biblical counseling, not to be confused with Christian counseling. Christian counseling is a hybrid of psychology and the Bible and biblical counseling is based on Scripture. NANC is a three day conference with plenary sessions and individual workshops with topics that pertain to counseling. When I choose my workshops, my counselee's issues are in the forefront of my mind and I try to glean whatever wisdom I can so that I can impart it to my counselee.

One of the workshops I attended was called, "Balancing Work and Worship" and I wanted to attend to hear the speaker's point of view on this subject. I wasn't aware that it was geared toward women (it wasn't advertised as being gender-specific) until I noticed that all of the attendees were women. I'm assuming that women were drawn to this topic because they wear many hats-mother, work, church, wife, housekeeper, etc. Additionally, I think many women yearn for balance in all of these areas.

Just like the mom, the woman who works outside the home and the single woman employee, we must all have our priorities straight according to God's standards. We must worship God and not our work. It is easily to get caught up in taking care of everything else but we often times neglect worshipping the One who saved us. While I don't struggle in this area, some women find their identity in their business card or educational accomplishments rather than in Christ.

Whether the woman works inside or outside the home, single or married, she is to bring priority to her household. If a single or married woman works outside of the home, it is more convenient to put your household on the back burner. For me, I struggle in making my household a priority because I am super busy. While I'd love to vacuum more than once during the week, I find it difficult to balance everything else AND get the rest I need. And yet, if you study Proverbs 31, you'll find that great emphasis is for the woman to tend to the needs of her family and home.

As a single person, we are expected to be involved in ministry more than the married person because we can devote more time to Him. While there is a need for rest, I want to make sure I have my priorities straight and not be prodigal with the time the Lord has given me. I love how Venessa Ellen* put it: Time management is ultimately stewardship. Stewardship is managing what God has given us for the purpose of glorifying Him.

In the church, there are many women and men who are not involved in any ministry while there are some who are involved in many ministries. I would categorize myself as the latter. I am involved in two regular ministries and two that are part time or on an as-needed basis. I am not commending myself for the time and work I commit to these ministries but it begs the question, am I doing too much?

I know that this fall is extremely busy and it's going to be this way for a short season, but I know that I should re-evaluate all of my commitments. In the past, I've felt guilty for wanting to shrink my schedule and I've even felt selfish for wanting to rest instead of helping out someone in need. I've come to realize that I serve better when I'm totally useful and well-rested. While I'm called to serve, I am not called to dabble in everything. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all of the ministries I am involved in, my job, my family and all of the stuff in between, but I know I should limit some of my involvement somewhere. As Venessa Ellen says, "Bloom where you are planted-not everywhere there is a plant"

For you married women, your household is your first priority whether you work outside of the home or you work inside the home. You are a help meet for your husband, the provider. Just as Adam was the keeper of his garden and Eve was his suitable helper, you too are supposed to help your husband tend to the "garden". I know with all of the hustle and bustle of the day's problems, work and chores, it is easy to lose sight of our role as women. We tend to become weary day in and day out but we must remember, God's called you to be faithful to your home-you have a purpose, your identity is in Him. He's using you to encourage your husband and your life is an example for your children that Christ richly has blessed you in your life. So, serve with joy!

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
she opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates-Proverbs 31:10-31

*Venessa Ellen was a workshop speaker at NANC this year