Why I Can't Relate

Recently, I watched a "Seinfeld" rerun where George, Elaine, Kramer and Jerry stood on the street watching a man while he was getting "carjacked". After the foursome cracked jokes as the man yelled for help, they were arrested for not submitting to the "Good Samaritan" law. The Good Samaritan law requires that a person must assist someone in need of help. It is shameful that a law even exists-that some people wouldn't have enough compassion to come to the aid of another of their own volition.

This week, one of my students was admitted to the hospital after having severe pains in her abdominal area. She was in the hospital for three days as the doctors performed various tests to figure out what was ailing her. She hadn't eaten for at least three days and threw up blood. Finally, they figured out that her gallbladder needed to be removed. A couple of years ago, she had a ruptured cyst removed as well as her appendix. She suffers from stomach migraines as well as migraine headaches. As a result of the migraines, she's had memory loss and as long as she's been my student, she has dealt with numerous health issues.

I can't relate. I don't mean to say this glibly as if I don't have compassion for people that have health issues. I have tons of compassion for those who suffer physically. However, since I've never had serious health problems, I can't relate. I've never stayed overnight in the hospital-except when I was born. Yes, I've gone to the E.R. but the most serious injury I've experienced was a broken arm.

I totally take my health for granted. Every morning, I wake up unfazed by any health problems (aside from the occasional stiffness in my body) that daily torment others. While I do have some issues (such as a failing disk in my fifth lumbar, some arthritis in my back, severe allergies, occasional migraines and possibly an over-active vagus nerve), they aren't an impediment to my daily activities or my life in general. With medicine, (if needed) I can control my ailments.

When I come into contact with people who physically suffer daily, I am amazed at their perseverance. My students who have chronic migraines, come to class, pay attention while trying to ignore the piercing pain inside their head. Some even throw up as a result of the pain while I have avoided throwing up for six years now. It makes me wonder why God chose certain people to take on physical suffering and why He chose others to endure emotional suffering. If I delve deeper, why does He allow some families to suffer with physical disabilities? Of course, the answer is: I don't know.

Today, our pastor was talking about the early church asking for boldness and courage to endure persecution. The Christians weren't asking for relief of their suffering-they were beseeching God for strength to face their tormentors. Even though we aren't being persecuted for proclaiming the Gospel-at least not to the extent that the early church experienced, we aren't to shirk what He has already ordained. We are to face it with courage, boldness, knowing that our strength comes from Him alone. On the other hand, it's not sinful to ask for relief from a trial. Paul asked for the "thorn in his side" to be removed but God provided His grace for Paul to endure it.

Jesus' death on the cross was the apotheosis of any suffering we have and will ever experience. This used to be hard for me to understand because I always thought that Jesus never understood what it was like to have cancer or migraines or the emotional ups and downs of being single. After coming to grips with my fallacious way of thinking, I realized that we don't need to play the game of "Tit For Tat" with Jesus because He is omniscient. He experienced physical pain like no other and I have the nerve to say, "But He didn't have cancer." He experienced hunger for 40 days and it is possible that He had a migraine. And if He was impervious to headaches while fasting, think of the cross where He had to endure the physical pain of hanging, that alone could cause a migraine. While Jesus wasn't reportedly unsatisfied with staying single, He experienced loneliness on this earth. At the cross, He was abandoned by the disciples (with the exception of John), his family (with the exception of Mary) and the world hated Him. As if that wasn't enough suffering for one day, Jesus did nothing to deserve it.

Just as Jesus has had compassion on us, we are to have compassion on others as well-even if we can't relate to their particular issue. The fact of the matter is that in some way, we can relate because we too know what it means to suffer. We are to be a support for that person when they are in need. It is our duty as Christians, to bring encouragement, joy, accountability, love and help for those suffering.

When I found out that Bree was at the hospital on Monday, I texted her after school to see how she was doing. Still not knowing what was causing her pain, I asked her if she was praying about it and I reminded her that the Lord knew that this was going to happen long before the foundations of the world. I told her that I was praying as well and to keep me posted. The next day, I had the opportunity to visit her in the hospital. I don't want to come across as this perfect Christian who is perfect in every situation-I'm not here to toot my own horn. To me, it is a reminder that no matter what someone is going through, we can be there for them. We don't have to fully relate because we haven't experienced it ourselves. We tend to have patience for those that experience the same trials we've faced, we even have a higher tolerance for them because we understand the pain that they are enduring. However, we are called to a higher standard: we are to bear each others' burdens.

My job is not to rate another person's sufferings and determine if I can relate or not. I'm not to present my analysis to the Lord in terms of who suffers emotionally versus who suffers physically. I don't need to seek ways to alleviate someone of their suffering. My responsibility is to support, love, care and show compassion for those who suffer-no matter what they face. After all, that's what Jesus does for us consistently when we don't deserve it.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ-Galatians 6:2

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves-Romans 15:1

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others-Philippians 2:4

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up-Romans 15:2

There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold-Acts 4:34

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep-Romans 12:15

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind-I Peter 3:8